Psychology and Psychiatry

How to accept your feelings

What is the difference between a regular article and a fairy tale? The tale in this case is an opportunity for practical work on yourself. Fairy tale therapy is a variant of an effective and applicable answer to the question “How?”. And this is a huge difference between the proposed stories and “ordinary” articles, in which the answers are given to the question “What should be done?”.

An experienced reader has long known that ... and he is ready for action, he longs for change, but he doesn’t know how ... In this series of articles on the book series “People from the Cabinet”, tools are offered to the seeker for practical work on himself. We no longer talk about why we need to change, when it is necessary and what needs to be done. We give opportunity for change. When inside there are very strong feelings: hysteria and storms, they are very difficult to be considered as their own. But, as psychologists say, feelings cannot be hidden, they need to be taken. And for this you need to stop being afraid of yourself. And along with feelings, you need to take yourself, because you are the owner of these feelings. Therefore, anyone who wants to truly go through the path of change will have to take this very difficult but very important step sooner or later ...

The chapter from the first part of the book series "People from the closet" titled: "Meeting"

She always appeared suddenly. The tremendous destructive power instantly grew even from a light breeze. And swept away everything in its path. Nothing could resist her. And Fedka watched powerlessly as bridges collapse and relatives cry. The cause of suffering is himself. Rather, that terrible power that lived inside and commanded a robot. He could not help it. In a stranglehold, force paralyzed his movements. Neither the mind, nor the will, nor the human essence helped. It was impossible to hide or even move away a little. She absorbed completely, without residue. Did not leave the slightest hope of salvation. And it remained only to wait for this hellish song to end and to believe that this time it would be all right.

Strength increased over time. Absolutely everything burned in an uncontrollable terrible flame. Broke love, caution, kindness. Covered the severity of deep darkness. And in this abyss, enormous pain rushed in hopelessness, in its own impotence, seeking at least some hope of salvation. And then it became really creepy. It was like agony. Not a quick death, but a long death agony. It was as if Fedka was slowly but surely disappearing. And he knew about the inevitability of the approaching end. And because it seemed to go crazy. No mind can understand why a person is so bad when everything is good around. He is loved, accepted, wanted to see, cherish. And he is in darkness. Failed with his head and can not get out. He does not know how he doubts his strength and full-fledged understanding. He tried to escape - the power was overtaking. It does not matter where: on a visit or alone. There was not a single corner on this earth where he could hide, wait. When he was silent - she was tearing apart. And the more he endured, the stronger the inevitable flames flared up.

Ways to get rid Fedka invented, while the beast was asleep. Because under targeted fire it was impossible to think at all. They refused to obey not only the limbs, but also the brain. Like a limp doll, a man hung on the ropes, for which this capricious, unpredictable, hellish witch tugged. But he could only observe how his fate is breaking down, how the lives of loved ones are crumbling. And he himself did not want to live with this internal uncontrollable evil. During periods of invasion, he tried to ask for help from others. Relatives tried as best they could. Sorry, talked about love, tried to understand. But the more they met, the more they provoke the inner beast. There was always something to catch on. When there was a lull, Fedka visited specialists. He told in detail what was happening to him. Showed records and observations. And he asked for advice, assistance in the fight against the enemy. But experts only shrugged. They were not familiar with his beast. As if they never had such animals.

And then it became clear that no one would help. What is his personal story. He must deal with his feeling one on one. And Fedka started looking. What did not do to get rid of the misfortune! He comprehended the centuries-old wisdom of the ancestors. And woke forgotten resources. Read scientific papers. And I tried and checked. And if it did not help, then I searched again. He explored the pitfalls and cracked icebergs. As if even acquired power. But there was no deliverance. As if mocking him, with each of his discoveries, an unknown power changed shape. He tried to get rid of the fierce lion, and a boar appeared. Fedka grabbed a gun and was glad that he had killed him. And the tiger came. He took apart the tiger and sighed with relief. And it was quiet, good. Everything was relaxing. Joy came. And it seemed that the flour is over. But there was an explosion, and the worst fell on with even greater speed. The closer the hero was chosen, the stronger the influence of the force was felt. As if the most formidable beast received freedom!

It is strange - to fight an invisible, but such a dangerous, immense enemy. But the most amazing thing is that the enemy seems impossible to defeat. Once, during a lull, Fedka turned to the great sages. He knew that the beaten beasts would not come back. But there was no peace. And it was as if even waiting. New evil.

- What else should I do? What you need to overcome the monster? - He asked about what there were no words, but only feelings.

“Sit and wait,” said the first sage. - Know the silence - and you will know the truth.

“Train your will,” said the other. - Your will must be stronger than any feelings.

“Stop fighting,” said the third. - Admit that you have, and learn to live with it.

“But just know,” the fourth cautioned, “as long as you are afraid, the monster will hide, but overtake.”

And Fedka understood what he needed. Stop running. It's time to stop fighting the monster. It's time to meet. He began to prepare. And whatever it is, he can transfer everything. He wants to live right and forget it. And let go like a bad dream. And never to return again. And Fedka waited. He sat fully armed and prepared for the worst. But nothing happened. And he was tired of waiting so long. And he went to look. Around silence. No blade of grass moves. It was as if everything stopped, froze, died. As if scared and hid. Endless empty surface. Fedka was seriously pissed off:

- Where are you, damn feeling? Didn't you want to get me? So here I am! Sam came! Eat everything, without a trace!

So long preparing. Know so much. I learned a lot. And life seems to have just begun. And this beast hid, does not go. And sits to spoil everything?

Fedka stood and screamed desperately:

- Yes, come you, finally! I'm ready to see you! Surely it is necessary to sneak a defenseless person in order to finish it so that it does not flounder ?! And to be honest, in the eyes, you are a coward, yes !? Where are you, damn animal? I want to get rid of! What more do you want from me? He is tired of calling. Down on the grass. And silence rang. And the hot pink rolled up. And it's time to say goodbye to the sun, in order to have a new day.

A man appeared on the horizon. He was turned his back, and looked at the departing sun. Fedka ran. So in a hurry, afraid to lose the image. There was something elusive, unconscious, incomprehensible, but very important. Fedka intensely peered into this distant, but close to the heart silhouette and could not remember. And the thoughts in his head rushed, and the heart jumped out of his chest. "How long have I waited! Do not go!" The familiar features were becoming clearer. The closer the figure became, the better Fedka could make out a familiar and at the same time completely alien. But this did not repel, but, on the contrary, attracted even more.

Fedka was out of breath. From the last forces tried to have time. Ran up. Stood next. I waited and felt the boundless sea of ​​gratitude, love and warmth and the willingness to give it all!

- You only accept, - he prayed in his heart, - you just forgive! I really need you! I can not live without you! I do not want, as before.

And my heart pounded and jumped wildly. The heart was waiting. And the man turned. He was neither good nor evil. And a little puzzled. Defenseless. Careful. He looked tired eyes. And everything in him was to the aching pain of his own and to the depths of his soul. A little smile touched his lips. And Fedka felt his own, real happiness.


Upon reading, the seeker must answer the following questions: who did the hero meet here? Who was he afraid of? Who was he looking for? What important step did he take? The reader also sees an example of how to make this important step in independent work on yourself. But here, as mentioned earlier, this is only the first step. And there is still a lot of them ahead. Therefore, the continuation necessarily follows ...

And the whole path of separation from addictions (from society, from a loved one) is described in the book series People from the Cabinet. In these articles, the reader is invited to make a short journey into the world of their own experiences. And how to get rid of all experiences, earlier in articles about zen buddhism.