Psychology and Psychiatry

How to throw a guy

If relationships bring more suffering than pleasure and peace of mind, then it is worth considering options for a girl to quit a guy. The way to end a relationship is important, no matter who is the initiator or whoever has feelings for the second half. It is necessary to prevent possible negative consequences as much as possible, the occurrence of unjustified hopes of changing the status back, and also try not to cause additional pain by the process and words.

We should also single out the situation when the safety of life or health directly depends on the speed of separation. When a girl looks for ways to end a relationship, because violence, threats, gas lightening, humiliation and other negative aspects affecting physical and mental health occur there, then it’s worth thinking not about the quality of the chosen words, but the speed of ending the relationship and the availability of support.

How to tell a guy about parting

Properly chosen words will help not only quickly quit a guy, but also maintain normal relationships in the future. Therefore, it is so important, at least out of respect for the person, to choose the wording. Nobody requires a prepared speech, memorized, because it is stress not only for the one who is left, but also for the one who leaves the relationship, and accordingly there is every chance to forget to say the most important thing.

Do not build a clear scenario, but decide on the main theses that require sound for a clear and favorable outcome. You are required to designate your position without ambiguous meanings, and also indicate the reason for your own decision. If you want to end the relationship because of the guy's behavior, his qualities or unworthy deeds, then it is worth saying so. When the feelings have disappeared and you don’t want to lie to a guy, it’s better to talk about it openly, otherwise the young man may decide that the situation can still be saved and will begin to eliminate his own shortcomings in every way.

Make it so that the whole process of parting fit into one conversation. Attempts of gradual distancing, stretching for weeks, understatement and coldness in the interaction can only aggravate the situation and deliver the extra pain and clarify the relationship.

When there is no opportunity to meet in person for a long time (a month or more), then talk on the phone or Skype - you should not give a person a false understanding of the situation. All of these comments are about editing popular tips about choosing the right moment. In fact, the most suitable moment for a conversation begins immediately after realizing the unwillingness to continue communication.

Wait until the holidays or crisis moments pass; moreover, it is useless, it’s still almost endless, because life consists of difficulties (where you don’t want to add problems) and joys (which are considered to be ugly for a person to spoil). All you have to do about choosing the moment is to organize a conversation in your free time, after which there will be no important matters. Perfect any evening or you can meet in the afternoon on one weekend.

How to quit a guy if you love him and he doesn't have you? In life, there are moments of difficult decisions regarding parting. And if the moment of the end of a relationship with a person who no longer causes positive emotions is completely understandable, then the situation requiring the end of relations with someone you love is a full-blown tragedy. Some girls are able to tolerate such an attitude for a long time, but in the end it all ends up parting when a guy falls in love with another. The psychological and emotional state of the girl herself suffers, life is getting worse, and the question becomes not so much about saving possible happiness, but life.

There is no big problem in how nice it is to throw a guy, the main thing is to decide on this step. Initially, it is worthwhile to take a short pause, during which to take an analysis of your life, the amount of pain in it generated by this relationship, and also look at possible solutions. Many can not figure out their own, and the advice of girlfriends to run faster are perceived with reproach - then it makes sense to sign up for a consultation with a psychotherapist. It is the help of a professional that can be useful for understanding the reasons for being close to someone who does not have relevant feelings for you. Breaking such an interaction solely with an effort of will is not recommended, because the pain of loss without an awareness of the mechanisms pushing into such a relationship can be stronger than the arguments of reason and bring you back.

Having tuned in to the conversation, explain to the guy that you no longer want to support such a format of relationships, you can tell about your own feelings. We'll have to make a lot of effort, that on a personal initiative to say goodbye to the one you love, but the main thing is to refrain from the offer to remain friends. This is possible for those to whom feelings no longer exist, i.e. the guy may well agree and start making friends with you, but having your own love will turn this friendship into pain. Complete the relationship completely, without the possibility of a return, otherwise you risk remaining a periodic magic wand from boredom.

How to stay friends

It can be difficult to end a relationship where you are greatly loved precisely because you do not want to hurt or hurt a person who is so good to you. For many, it becomes important how to quit a guy without offending him and remain friends, while his own feelings are exhausted, but he is not.

The best parting behavior for a loving person is to give him respect and honesty. Do not go into hints, avoidance and play constant employment, because the lover may not understand these hints, but on the contrary more and more trying for a relationship. Always make an appointment and explain your reasons for leaving without accusations and humiliations. Even if love is stifling, and romance enters into a state of disgust - say it in the formulations that you are moving towards different goals and are not experiencing past feelings or feelings that you desire.

Be prepared that with such separation you will be attempted to be held in all possible ways - oaths to change, requests for time, sometimes even threats and blackmail. Showing understanding it is important to show the firmness of your position and confidence in the decision, for example, a constant reminder that this is your weighted informed choice, and you will not change it. Depending on the mental state of the guy, you can continue to communicate further or completely stop it. Those. if it is possible for the two of you to calmly communicate further, then you will surely thank him for all the good things and make it clear that you always respond to his greeting, request or invitation. But be careful and do not do this with people who can somehow ruin your life with intrusive calls or incorrect behavior - it’s better to immediately indicate that from now on your communication is minimized.

Possible reaction of a guy

In order not to be shocked and to adequately respond to the development of events, girls should know what possible reactions of the guys during their separation are waiting for them. Despite the apparent male resistance to emotional manifestations, almost half of the guys at parting, not on their initiative, begin to cry. The expressiveness of such emotions can range from a single tear falling to violent sobbing and falling into the legs of one's former passion — this is mainly determined by the temperament of the person.

A distinctive feature of the male response to the gap is gratitude for the joint experience, relationships and everything that was in them. For comparison, girls can rarely thank the guys for the good moments, because in a situation of separation they focus on the negative of the end of a relationship, hurt or feeling betrayed. Men tend to assess the situation as a whole and possible prospects, so if a girl speaks directly and honestly about ending the relationship, openly explaining her position, most can appreciate such an act to its true worth.

A boy can seldom accept a friendship offer after a break, but at the same time a rather large percentage of men consider sex to be acceptable after breaking up. The same applies to periodic intimate relationships with the former partner, until no one has found a new passion, while the rest of the interaction will be minimized.

The guy may respond and is not always adequate, especially if the relationship was dependent. Screams, threats and blackmail can be used as an attempt to keep a girl by any means possible. Charges and humiliation are a sign of hurt pride and an attempt to somehow raise the level of self-esteem by elevating in such a negative way. Removing joint photos, notifying common friends and blocking a girl in all social networks are possible from hysterical reactions - this is done from the inability to cope with the pain of loss and the insufficient level of development of adequate communication.

What should not a girl do

Putting the last accents and completing the relationship, there is an unwritten set of rules that are not recommended to break. First of all, it concerns the general behavior of the girl and the choice of how to build a dialogue. A haughty and condescending attitude will not only lead to the loss of quality dialogue, but also cast a shadow on her reputation. It is optimal to keep within the cultural framework designated by society as a neutral behavior of an educated person. Rude, rude and call a person is not a way out, even if the guy is to blame for everything, and even if he committed unacceptable acts.

Stop the evil wording, even when unpleasant words are flying at your address - now it is him who is hurt and anger is one of the reactions to pain. You were ready for this conversation more, which means you can own your emotions. Try not to escalate the situation. Do not provoke a guy to any emotional outbursts, since such a desire for triumph can be quite expensive with an affective outburst on his part. If the former itself is aggressive, then do not try to settle the issue on your own and indoors - it is better to choose a crowded place and the proximity of friends.

Do not delay the conversation and leave as quickly as possible - this will help avoid embarrassing silence or discussing a lot of unpleasant details. Your task is to discuss the main thing and not to stretch an unpleasant situation. This also refers to the attempt of many girls to regret a guy, to embrace him, to tell about how they empathize with him. Such manifestations are not perceived as support in the new current situation, but how mockery may well be regarded.