Psychology and Psychiatry

The relationship between a man and a woman

The relationship between a man and a woman is truly an enormous effort on both sides with many mistakes and attempts at solving problems. This is beautiful, but sometimes insanely hard. Relationships can give insane happiness or can lead to emotional distress. Sometimes unbearably want to quit. This is because neither boys nor girls in childhood are taught healthy relationships between the weak and strong halves of humanity.

There are some typical mistakes that all people make when entering into relationships. The main mistake is the idealization by partners of each other and the desire to seem perfect. Today, the problem of gender relations is most acute.

Psychology of relations between a man and a woman

Representatives of strong and weak sexes come from different planets. They absolutely do not understand each other's feelings. Most of the representatives of the stronger sex are trying to distance themselves emotionally from the relationship, and the majority of feminis are eager for them. Therefore, Thomas Fogerty introduced such concepts as "distant" and "pursuer". A distancer is a man, and a woman, respectively, is a pursuer.

Men hide their feelings from everyone and strive to keep a safe distance, because they are afraid of being involved in relationships. A strong half of humanity simply runs from addiction, which it considers painful, and obligations out of fear and selfishness.

Many men initially play the role of pursuer at the beginning of the birth of relationships for seducing a woman. However, if they are frightened by the direction, intensity of the relationship, the swiftness of their development, or the predetermined result does not fit, then they try to distance themselves. Their refusal pushes the woman to persecution, but since the woman is taking this step under the influence of the fear of breaking off the relationship, and not deliberately, this leads to an even greater detachment of the man.

Why is everything so complicated? This is due to the fact that the scenario of the development of future relations was registered in childhood. Most men are afraid of losing independence and masculinity. However, it is often quite difficult for mothers to allow their son to grow independently, and as a result, boys move away from them, while feeling guilty. Such men will flee from the relationship, if the girl is too demanding, begins to produce in him the development of guilt for the fact that he does not satisfy her needs and does not meet her ideals.

Any distancer runs from obligations, for him the highest values ​​are freedom and independence. For the pursuer, such goals are close relationships and partnerships.

How does male psychology differ from female one? Men seek solutions to problems, and women want to be listened to. If a man has a problem - he is trying to find an independent solution. In the case when it is impossible to solve independently, the man consults with a person significant to him. He shares his problem in order to hear opinions from a different point of view. Therefore, when an upset woman tells a man something, he thinks that she is looking for a solution. However, a woman wants to be listened to. A man is trying to help, thereby removing a woman from himself.

The main claims of men to women are that if a woman says no, then she means yes. They can not understand when all the same "no" is no, and when yes. For a strong half, women are overly emotional and demanding. Women try so hard to surround men with care that they simply do not leave them free space. The beautiful half is always offended, becomes silent and believes that men should guess the reason themselves. And when men lose in this game called “guess why I am offended,” they are offended even more and start thinking that they are not valued, loved or understood. A woman constantly seeks to talk about relationships, and a man is annoyed. The beautiful half is inclined to give everything that it has - warmth, care, attention and everything in unlimited quantities, thereby making the man feel guilty.

Women consider men as cold and insensitive, not seeking to establish a strong bond, not interested in their feelings and thoughts. Men say "yes" to get rid of them, but in fact they mean "no." They are afraid of talking on any topic, if it does not apply to football and beer. Strong sex avoids conflicts by any means and does not want to discuss controversial situations. Men say one thing, but they feel quite different. The strong half lives by the mind, while ignoring the feelings. However, the main claim of women to men is that they are selfish.

The typical mistakes of men towards women lie in their inability to show their weaknesses. They try to always be strong and confident.

Intimate relationships of men and women to maintain harmony in the family are almost fundamental, since thanks to intima partners become closer to each other.

Many marriages break up only because the spouses consider the problems that necessarily arise during the development of their relationship as something abnormal, a loss of mutual understanding, love, although in reality the relationship simply follows the path of progress, thereby maturing. In the course of life together partners, the relationship between a man and a woman undergo many transformations, they lose their naivety, childishness and move to the next stage of true intimacy and mutual understanding.

Stages of the relationship of men and women

Gender relationships begin with a sudden feeling that never seems to pass. But after some time, they begin to realize that they were mistaken in their forecasts and expectations, and the beloved person, who at first seemed so ideal, now causes only irritation. Why is this happening? Why can't love last forever? And what to do in order to preserve the relationship?

There are certain stages in the development of any relationship, having survived through which harmonious relations between a man and a woman are born.

The first stage is falling in love. This period is characterized by short duration and romance. However, it is the most attractive stage for many. In the people he still carries the name - the candy and bouquet period. At this stage, people meet a person who, in the beginning, causes only an interest in them, which then rapidly develops into attraction. After a while, not noticing how it happened, this person becomes the main thing in life. When you are near him, the world becomes brighter, and you - better. All thoughts revolve only around a loved one.

This condition is caused not only by emotional lift, but also supported by a serious surge of hormones, which significantly affect the perception of reality and the activity of the brain as a whole.

The stage of falling in love usually lasts from a year to a year and a half, then gradually goes away, emotions calm down, and the feeling of reality returns to the first place. The time has come for the next stage.

The second stage is satiety. This is a kind of intermediate stage, characterized by the loss of passions and a calm look at the situation in general. The partner is still of interest, but is no longer the only significant object of life. This stage is characterized by the fact that people are beginning to realize that they also have other interests. And only longing for the former passions from time to time reminds of the experienced stage. Periodically, there is a desire and desire to revive them, to return. However, even if it succeeds, for a short time. People come to understand that they cannot fully return the previous experiences. This stage is inevitable, otherwise a constant hormonal surge can lead to depletion of the body.

The third stage is rejection. Characterized by comprehending all the advantages and disadvantages of a partner. And here the first pitfalls lurk. After all, we seemed to love the man for his dignity, but we did not notice the shortcomings or at the first stage they simply did not care. And now we begin to look at our choice with a hint of bewilderment, doubting its loyalty. At this stage, the natural question becomes before an individual: How could I not notice this before? Unfortunately, people are so arranged that the answer is one they suggest - the partner used to be implemented. Now, the feeling of being unjustly deceived is added to the feeling of disappointment. At this stage, the likelihood of a breakup is very high. People lack wisdom and patience, strength and desire to work on the development of the union and its strengthening. It is easier to think that they initially made a mistake with the choice that the next time we will not allow such errors, but since they did not really understand what the error is, the next time the relationship is waiting for the same development.

This stage begins and develops more rapidly, if a couple does not just meet, but lives together. Household questions have not helped anyone to establish mutual understanding. If you have enough patience to survive this stage of development, then the pair moves to the next stage.

The fourth stage is tolerance. Tolerance in this context means the ability to calmly perceive circumstances as they are, without trying to force them. And here it does not mean that you need to meekly accept it. It is just necessary to learn how to accept the situation, for example, in the way we accept the fact that spring necessarily replaces winter, day gives way to night. A partner should be taken entirely and completely, without dividing its qualities into positive and negative ones. Consider a loved one as a whole person and individuality. The previous stages of development are characterized by the perception of a partner as a kind of ideal image, at the same stage one should learn to see in a partner a personality, a living person with his aspirations and feelings.

All harmonious relations between men and women are characterized by mutual respect. Do not try to remake a partner. Need to start with yourself. It is sometimes quite difficult for us to cope with our negative manifestations, but this does not prevent us from threatening to redo a long-formed personality, a person who is satisfied with himself as he is. Only a careful relationship of partners to each other will strengthen the relationship, will be the key to peace and family happiness.

The fifth stage is the ministry. At this stage, partners do not just learn to value each other as they are, but also become at the service of their interests. Gradually, they learn to give their love for free. This stage is characterized by a feeling of joy from the opportunity to share with a partner all that you have. This is the stage of the adult position in the marital relationship and a certain interchange. After all, giving our loved one our love, care, and affection, we inevitably cause him to respond with a similar reaction.

The sixth stage is mutual respect. This stage is characterized by the fact that the partners respect each other not for a particular act or a certain quality, but for the individual as a whole, in the totality of his features and as a result of the collectively experienced falls and take-offs. At this stage of development of relations after the adoption of man as a person comes an understanding of the value of the individual as such. Gradually, along with respect, understanding, the confidence in the spouse grows as a person who will never fail, support you in difficult times, share joy with you.

The seventh stage is true love. This is not the all-consuming feeling that arose at the very beginning, but a deep, measured one. The partner becomes the greatest value, a source of endless joy, happiness and discovery. It is not a passion, but a relationship of souls. The relationship between a man and a woman at this stage reached a new level of development. Partners at this stage become each other more than spouses and friends, they become really close people.

The beginning of the relationship of men and women

It is in the ability to build healthy harmonious relationships that lies the secret of happiness and success of people.

Relations between a man and a woman, boyfriend and girlfriend, can begin for several reasons. The first such reason will be in love or sympathy. The next reason is a logical choice, when people, being at a certain stage of development, decide to start a family consciously. Very often, the intimate relationship between a man and a woman becomes the engine of further gender relations. However, regardless of the reasons for the beginning of the relationship - they already exist and they should somehow be further built.

At any stage of development of the relationship between a man and a woman, it is important to remember that they, first of all, should give joy, bring satisfaction, a feeling of happiness and inner peace. Relationships should be easy at the beginning! It is therefore very important in the process of developing relationships to observe your feelings. If initially you are not comfortable with your partner, communication and meetings bring more frustration and disappointment than joy, you should think about whether you need to continue this relationship? Any relationship must carry the creative into the world, and not destructive.

So, you met a person who you like, and you like him. How to further develop relationships so as not to spoil them? First of all, you need to remember that you are two separate individuals, two personalities, with their own habits, inclinations, interests, preferences, way of life. It is necessary to understand that if you are two whole personalities, then you have the right to a part of your life, separate from your partner. Do not completely dissolve in a partner. It is not necessary to build on the basis of the conventional wisdom for building relationships, that love is when people are two halves of the whole. Every person is a whole person.

Do not start a relationship with demands and reproaches. This behavior will only alienate the partner. You should also not be overly intrusive.

The development of the relationship of men and women

The development of relationships, giving happiness and endless joy, is the foundation of a strong family. There are several types of relationships between representatives of the strong and weak halves of humanity: partnership, home, matriarchal and patriarchal, inspirational relationships.

In a partnership relationship, the relationship in the pair is based on equal rights and obligations. Characterized by the ability to always negotiate in a relaxed atmosphere. In such a relationship, a man and a woman are active, active and initiative, they both strive for development and self-development. Along with this, it is important for them to find themselves and successfully implement them in a certain type of activity. In this connection, grandmothers, nannies, and housemaids usually deal with household chores. Between wife and husband there is a strict agreement and distribution of duties. Often such pairs are characterized by a separate budget. Possible difficulties lie in the threat of transforming relations into purely material ones. After all, a woman, regardless of existing arrangements, dreams of achieving emotional intimacy with a man, so that he takes care of her, not according to a “schedule”, but at will. Most men make partnerships. That is why they are not in a hurry to take the initiative. In such circumstances, the woman usually takes the lead. It all starts with the fact that she is thinking about how to spend a joint romantic dinner, and ends with the planning of more serious tasks. This situation can not always suit both spouses, which leads to conflicts, and ultimately to divorce.

Therefore, people who have decided to create a cell of society, should initially seriously approach the issue of family relations. Before marriage, it is necessary to discuss with a partner the views on family relationships, find out his position on one or another topical issue, and ask about his expectations.

Home relations characterized by a fairly close relationship in which love prevails, and everything else in the background. In such a union, career, success, self-improvement, the achievement of any social heights or goals, the realization of oneself are absolutely not important. Such couples draw energy from each other and from their relationships. Love, home comfort and comfort dominate their lives. People in such a union, as a rule, are quite sensual natures. They do not seek contacts from outside.

Possible difficulties lie in threatening to empty yourself. Relationships can go completely into the domestic plane. The habit of sharing evenings is transformed into everyday necessity. Such a connection will save the presence of any joint hobby, hobby. You can do business together. Be sure to have such a relationship to diversify communication with other people.

Matriarchal Relationship characterized by the dominance of women. She is a strong personality, purposeful and active. Муж в такой паре обладает более мягким характером, он не стремится делать карьеру, тяготеет к домашнему уюту. В таком союзе обычно оба партнёра работают, но муж зарабатывает, в большинстве случаев, меньше. Все важные, жизненные решения принимаются женой.However, if a woman is smart enough and wants to preserve and strengthen the relationship, she can create a feeling for a man that he is the leader in the family. Such a union can be harmonious if both partners are comfortable in it and there are no mutual reproaches. However, if a woman reproaches a man for the insufficient amount of money earned, for his lack of initiative, he will begin to look for any opportunities to improve his self-esteem and self-affirmation. For example, she will get a docile and more feminine mistress, who will see in him a real man.

Patriarchal relations characterized by male dominance. The woman is the rear of the family. The husband is the head of the family, so it is and will be. He makes any decisions. Children and the wife are in his submission, and the woman in such a relationship is the organizer of life. If she works, then her work does not count. In this regard, a woman is not faced with the problem of choosing a family or work; for her, a family will be a priori more important. Difficulties may arise if a man starts to treat consumerly with his wife. If he underestimates the work of a woman, then this situation will always be touched by this situation, which can lead to an increase in intrapersonal conflict.

Inspiring relationships characterized by the inspiring position of a woman. It can be a muse for an artist or an ideological inspirer for a politician. In such a union, the main man, and his self-realization depends on the woman. He is not interested in victory, he does everything for her. The woman in this connection is capricious, demanding. Her demands are pushing a man towards achievements, they are pushing him towards development. This pair has some theatricality. A possible outcome of such a union may be the departure of the husband from the family, if the woman stops inspiring him. In inspirational relationships, a man usually becomes emotionally dependent on a woman. In order for a woman to be always inspiring in such a family, she needs to follow the path of self-development and self-improvement.

Love relationship men and women

If there is no happiness in the love relationship between a man and a woman, then there will be no happiness in life at all. Love relationships do not mean by sex only. Love affair is much deeper, more interesting, more serious and dangerous. Of course, intimate relationships - a huge part of life, but still a part. By and large, sex is a component of the relationship between a man and a woman, and not vice versa. Relationships will never be intimate.

What is happiness in family relationships? Most often, women and men represent family happiness in different ways. For a woman, a happy union is when a man is gentle and caring, when he takes responsibility, when he does not notice other women, he takes every desire and request seriously, talks gently, calls, confesses his love. The weak half requires men to fully worship themselves. However, to implement all of the above is hard enough for a man. For example, it is rather difficult for him to concentrate his attention on one representative of the female part of the population, because he likes to focus on some particular activity in society.

It is difficult for men to talk to the weaker sex as they like. They do not understand how they will be responsible for a person who is more unpredictable than themselves. Men never know what to expect from one woman or another. This suggests the following conclusion - all that happiness for a woman is a problem for a man. It turns out that for female happiness in family relationships, a man must lose himself and become unhappy. Is it fair? How can the misfortune of one bring happiness to another? No And if you still subordinate a man to your requirements, then in the end you can get a broken personality.

What is it for a man to have a happy love relationship with a woman? This is the unconditional obedience of a woman, the unquestioning acceptance of his authority. A woman must take care of him and his well-being. She should always be calm and patient. Her friends should not be a priori. Girlfriends are universal evil. In the first place for a woman should always be a man, and then children. These are typical mistakes of men in relation to women. They think that with such women they will become happier. However, is this really the case? Women cannot be calm, because they are driven by emotions. They love change. If the beautiful part of the planet’s population at least for a week becomes what men want it to be - the strong half will simply die of boredom.

Women and men, residents of different planets is a long-established fact. Understanding the "happiness" they have is absolutely the opposite, but this does not mean that they cannot together build harmonious and comfortable relationships based on trust, respect, understanding and love. Any relationship needs to learn how we learn activities in the process of growing up.

It so happened that women do not understand and do not want to understand men, but all of them require understanding from men. The feminines believe that for a harmonious relationship is enough if a man understands them. The beautiful half is not interested in what exactly the man wants. In most cases, they are convinced that only sex is important and necessary for any man. Also, women do not try to think about what is good in them, in order to interest the representative of the masculine gender, and he wanted to devote his life to them, to make their dreams come true. And after that women complain that men are egoists, while they themselves are the same.

Now about men. They do not try to understand a woman, they absolutely do not care about her inner world, so they are easily carried on all their manipulations in order to snatch at least a little warmth, escape from loneliness, feel at least someone needed. Men need to learn to see in a woman, first of all, a person, not an object of passion. A woman for a man can and should become, in a love relationship, a best friend, an ideological inspirer, a mistress and a partner. She just needs to help open up in this direction.

Do not forget that love relationships are the best soil for development and personal growth. After all, it is in the relationship of the sexes that all the strengths and weaknesses of the character are revealed. It is necessary to understand that whether relations will become a kind of engine towards self-improvement or will turn into a pit, where insults and dissatisfied desires are accumulated, depends only on you two.