When the most important desires are not fulfilled, it seems to a person that he loses himself and his life. Or rather his place. He is looking for the fifth corner, as people say. What is this condition and how to cope with it? One of the answers is described in the second part of the book series “People from the closet” titled: “Shades of Freedom”
My place in my life
Why am I always waiting for something?
A man sits at the window and looks at the gloomy rain. He looks at the street, at the sky, peers at passers-by, trying to identify a familiar figure. But the figure does not appear.
I've been waiting for something all my life. And I think that this can be taken from someone, someone whom I try to see in the rain. Something very important I need from him.
- Impossible to live without someone?
A person is distracted from the window:
“I thought I was alone here ...”
“I thought so too ...”
- So who are you?
- Your place.
“What other place?” - the hero is surprised.
- Your place in this life.
It sits side by side. On the windowsill, but not very distinct. Among the rain is almost invisible.
The person understands that he still does not understand anything and therefore decides not to be puzzled yet. They just talk.
- Probably, I can talk to you, since you are sitting here with me? - specifies just in case.
- Yes of course. I am in fact, always with you. You just did not notice me before.
The man is again surprised, but says nothing about it. Because again does not understand anything.
- Do you know what I expect all my life?
- I think the presence in your life. Probably participation.
- What for? What without it?
- Very large ... hard to answer, maybe longing?
“Hmm ... what is she talking about?”
It seems as though he is squeezing his head in a vise and even a little sick. Then, when I tried not to wait, the vice was loosened. And the feeling goes somewhere very deep in the stomach.
- What are you doing over there? shouted a man in the depths. And he guessed: it is worrying there.
- About what?
- About your place. I'm looking for the fifth corner.
He looks around in bewilderment: there is no my place here!
A person gets a little ashamed.
- Where is my seat? - the place is beginning to get worried.
- I, uh, you know ... I found my place in ... Well, that is, in the life of another person, finally, the hero exhales.
- Where where? - clarifies terrified feeling
“Well, in his heart and soul,” the voice is becoming more and more guilty.
And it looks at him with a great and silent reproach and no longer wants to speak. Turns away: "Continue to betray further."
And inside he has the feeling that something very important, his own, is lost. And it must be returned!
- Where is my normal place? he shouts into the void.
- In your own mind and heart! - gets an answer from the inside.
And it seems that he finally found something very important. Its And I want to cry, as if I met with a long-time, very close friend. And the head is buzzing from the stunning trends. And everyone inside is surprised and still sad, look around, as if they are getting acquainted again. And I want nothing more.
And then he looks into his lively, kind, warm, loving heart. It beats. It is waiting for him. And, having finally found his own homeland and abode, he sits down calmly and, without fear, without embarrassing anyone, will cry with tears that are bitter with joy.
The head is still buzzing:
“What is your spasm and nausea?”
- They are waiting.
- When you release yourself and all your manifestations. When you throw away everything that prevents you from being with you!
And the man looks at the window sill. His place is still there, but he is no longer sad, but smiles. Because he began to really, clearly perceive it and see. What a great meeting!
At first it becomes a little disgust. After all, he had previously tried to occupy space in someone else's life! And I waited all the time for someone else’s life to come. And without it I could not find my place. How bitterly aware of their betrayal of themselves!
But today, on this wonderful sunny day, he finally finds his territory in his life! And he took it with all his might!
And he feels full again. And yet it is a sparkling, magical, indescribable feeling ... The joy of finding yourself.
When a person attaches too much importance to any events and something goes wrong, the absence of these events causes different types of depression in him. One of the manifestations - the lack of understanding: "If I'm not in this, then where am I?". In "People from the wardrobe" the hero learns to overcome all kinds of depression. Of course, the ability to calmly perceive undesirable flow of life is not acquired immediately. However, patient, purposeful work on yourself will surely give results.