От многих женщин, находящихся длительное время в браке можно услышать разные советы как удержать мужчину. И среди них один из самых распространенных способов - это родить ребенка. Is it possible in this way to achieve the desired result? If so, how to keep a man near him with the help of children?
How it looks from the moral and ethical point of view. After all, a child is not given birth for a specific purpose, but in order to enable the tiny little man to live. Making a decision about pregnancy, first of all, you need to think that you are giving birth to a baby, not for yourself, but for him.
There are quite a few cases of man’s retention with the help of children, but they are all different. For example, the threat of divorce hung over his wife, and she decides to become pregnant or a boyfriend has thrown the girl, and she is blackmailing her with a child. There are many reasons to go through manipulations with the help of a living person, even though a small one. However, none of them can justify this behavior. This is the case when not all means are good.
So, how to keep the attention of a man and his love with the help of a child?
First, do not use the baby as a reason for the return of a loved one. It looks too ridiculous and only testifies, first of all, about your excessive egoism. A man must understand and realize that you will cope with all the difficulties and without it. If you are pregnant, just tell him about it and leave. Such behavior will surely touch his self-esteem and push him to action. However, this is not a fact. If, however, this did not happen, then do not despair, then a man is simply unworthy of you. A new life has arisen at your heart, and now you need to think about it first of all. So, as a child will love you - no one will ever be able to love.
If a man has left you for a new passion, then you should not interfere in a new relationship. After all, most likely, your actions, deeds, and behavior could have served as the reasons for the break in relations. Think about it, maybe he escaped from excessive obtrusiveness or total control, and maybe from constant quarrels and abuse? Before you go consciously on the path of manipulating a man with the help of a child, may, at first, it is better to work on improving yourself and eliminating shortcomings? Even if it does not return you the former man, but it will open many other possibilities.
In no case should not impose a future baby man by force. Such behavior, rather, will push him away even more, and not only from you, but also from the child. Think about the fact that your behavior can deprive the baby of his father. Did he deserve it?
Holding a person against his will in all countries is considered an offense. Think about the fact that you deliberately go to the "atrocity", trying to keep a man with the help of a child. And although there is no criminal or other responsibility for this “crime”, it is worthwhile to think about the moral side. After all, this act, in itself, is immoral, you consciously apply personality manipulation, play with its feelings and ruin its life.
If you have a goal to keep your husband, it means that you feel his cooling. Probably, unconsciously, you understand that your partner wants to get a divorce, you have found a new partner in life. This happens quite often: people do not fit each other's characters, they make mistakes when choosing a partner, the partners simply were not ready for marriage, there is no true love, they cannot coexist together anymore.
Also, a man may be going to leave you because of annoying constant conflicts and endless quarrels. Or maybe just love is gone. In such situations it is better to let the person go without holding him. What would be better is to give a person the opportunity to build a new happy life, but without you, or with you, but life will be filled with spiritual suffering on both sides, endless swearing and reproaches, which, in the end, will lead to mutual hostility. Will you be able to accept the fact that this man absolutely does not like you, that he is with you under duress, from a sense of duty and responsibility?
Trying to keep a man with the help of manipulation of children, think about what you are doing against his will and desire. If you really love him, then let him go. After all, love is not compatible with selfishness. True love is the feeling of happiness from the fact that the beloved is healthy, we love, he is doing well. After all, love is not only a feeling, signified by an ardent passion for a particular object, but also a desire to live with a partner all your life, to take care of it and give joy. Love - release. Believe me, in the world a sufficient number of other representatives of the stronger sex, who will not make you suffer, will love you sincerely, and there will be no situation with them when you have to hold them by force.
So, you thought about yourself and your feelings, thought about the feelings of your spouse, and now you need to think about the child. It should be understood that men do not bear children for 9 months, they do not have a connection that unites the mother and child throughout their lives. They generally tend to love children only from the woman he loves. Therefore, if you become pregnant, and the man does not love you, you should not have illusions that he will feel something, except for annoyance, towards the baby. In cases where the husband remains in the family not because of love for the mother, but because of duty, the duty to raise and raise the child, the baby is unlikely to ever feel fatherly love and care.
Psychologists have long established the fact that children should be brought up in love, in families in which parents live in perfect harmony with each other. It is on their example that a baby forms its own consciousness, behavior and attitude, develops character and prejudice. Children growing up in an incomplete family, witnessing a bad relationship between parents, lack of love, do not grow mentally stable. There is a high probability that they will begin to appear various mental disorders, stress, increased anxiety, they may be prone to deviant behavior. Often, such children, when they grow up, copy the model of parents' behavior in their family life.
Now think, do you really want to put your baby at such a risk? Will you be able to sacrifice the mental comfort of a child for the sake of illusory happiness with a partner whom you hold with the help of manipulations and blackmail? Maybe you need to first understand the reasons that pushed the man to break up the relationship? What blunders have you made that negative has appeared in your connection?
Is it possible to keep a man a child? Most likely you can. However, you need to think very well about whether you really want to solve the problems in the relationship in this way and take into account all the possible consequences of this act. If a man left, then something did not suit him. Having a baby does not help solve problems in a relationship. To resolve them, there are many effective ways. You must understand that your actions will affect not only your own life, but also the further formation of the child’s personality and the life of the beloved man. Consider whether the illusory happiness is worth the ruined fate of three people.