Psychology and Psychiatry

Low self-esteem

Low self-esteemUnfortunately, today is common. Due to the fact that a person is not able to adequately assess his own qualities, existing potential and himself, he is unable and not trying to achieve something in life. This is the main danger of low self-esteem. It may be stable or floating.

Stable low self-esteem does not depend on the circumstances, and the floating one is dependent on the situation or mood of the subject. People with low self-esteem often cannot understand why society treats them with disdain, others are not at all friendly in communicating where to look for reasons for such an attitude.

Causes of low self-esteem

The psychological problem of low self-esteem is often found in modern society. It can sometimes seriously poison a person’s life, and if several other negative manifestations of the personality are connected to it, then the person will simply be disappointed in life and people completely.

Low self-esteem and its causes come from childhood or as a result of a number of specific events due to which a person has lost faith in himself. An important factor that causes the emergence of feelings of guilt in childhood, is low self-esteem of parents. This is more of a woman. After all, from the moment of birth, the baby almost completely controls her attention. Since many adults act on children, guided by false beliefs, values, attitudes and principles, all this is necessarily transmitted to children through behavior and reactions. In those cases when parents see themselves as inferior or dependent on others, the children feel unworthy, as a result of which they are unable to overcome difficulties and cope with problems. In fact, the erroneous views of parents are made by the “facts” of the children's experience.

Low self-esteem, laziness, fear, are the three so-called whales, on which failure and dissatisfaction with life are based. When a baby is born, its brain size is approximately 12% of the adult's brain. By one and a half years - 50%, and in five years the size of a children's brain is only 20% smaller than the brain of an adult person. This body is the fastest growing. During the growth period, the child’s brain acquires basic impressions that help shape a model of further behavior. Consequently, if during this period one or both parents have low self-esteem, then it is easily adopted by the impressionable consciousness of the baby.

It all starts with the first mistake, when parents start calling the baby bad. The child cannot understand that this characteristic relates to his behavior, and does not describe his personal qualities.

Low self-esteem further continues to evolve as a result of comparing your child with others. Parents often compare a child with older children or, even worse, with someone not from a family. As a result, the child’s sense of inferiority and low self-esteem, still in its embryonic state, begin to grow and strengthen. As a result, the baby compares itself with children of similar age, which everyone likes, is admired by them, and is taken to suffer from their own imaginary defects. The kid begins to believe that others are gifted with great intelligence, confidence, strength and are more popular. The consequence of this is a destructive sense of inferiority. Parents should mitigate criticism and not infringe the child as a person. Criticism should be directed to the wrong actions and erroneous actions of the baby, and not on him personally.

Low self-esteem and the reasons for it stem from another mistake of the parents - the lack of understanding and recognition of the individuality of their child. Many parents pay very little attention to his feelings, desires and attitudes. Often you can hear phrases from mom and dad such as “what you can understand” or “I know better what to do”, etc. Parents perceive the disagreement of children as a personal insult or as a sign of disrespect for themselves. Such parental behavior is determined by their low self-esteem and is expressed in the need to be always right.

Many adults try to live indirectly through their children. They believe that children should get everything they previously sought for themselves. Therefore, they push children towards their goals, regardless of their potential. They dream to realize their unfulfilled hopes and desires through children.

Problems of low self-esteem are often directly dependent on the appearance of the individual. Many children face physical, intellectual and emotional difficulties due to their own special, abnormal or unusual appearance that does not conform to the mythical canons of attractiveness. They convince themselves that they are too fat, tall, slow, etc. Such beliefs lead to the development of a deep sense of inferiority, which is difficult to overcome in the future.

Many parents appreciate material well-being very highly. The child adopts this attitude towards life, identifying himself with these values. Subsequently, often, he enters into a marriage for the sake of money. Gradually materialism destroys the perception of personal dignity in a child, drawing it into an endless pursuit of wealth and compensating for this sense of inferiority.

Overly powerful, overly caring or always indulging parents turn children into emotional disabilities. Deprived of accepting life circumstances with confidence, dignity and firmness, they linger and move with the flow, choosing the path of least resistance. Complete lack of confidence in personal strength or lack of it creates a feeling of inferiority, which leads to the formation of low self-esteem.

There are many factors that cause problems of low self-esteem, but the following three are considered the most important. The first factor is a series of defeatist beliefs, beliefs, principles, and values ​​borrowed from parents. The second factor is the characteristic for the personality set of own mistakes, failures and mistakes, acquired in school years due to false, misconceptions and concepts of teachers. The third factor is negative, excessively religious education, with an emphasis on the feeling of guilt and inferiority.

Signs of low self-esteem

Each individual is unique, but people with low self-esteem have several common characteristics. Individuals with inadequate self-assessment react to similar stimuli in a similar way.

People with low self-esteem have the following signs: indecision, pretense, evasion of praise, increased vigilance, difficulty in being in the present, gives up easily and makes concessions, humbly asks, does not define high goals, continuously compares himself, forbids himself to be sincerely happy.

Indecision is expressed in the impossibility of making a choice. The need for choice drives a subject with low self-esteem into a stupor due to the fact that he is afraid of the consequences in case of an incorrect decision. Pretense is manifested in the fear of revealing oneself to others as it really is. Dodging praise is a fervent explanation in detail of why they do not deserve praise. Often, evasion of approval leads to a suspicion of insincerity in uttering praise. People begin to think that they have nothing to praise for, therefore, it means that they are just being bullied. Increased vigilance is expressed in the observation of everything that they do (gestures, facial expressions, etc.) and others say. Thus, people with low self-esteem collect evidence that they are not loved. The difficulty of being in the present lies in persistent regrets about the past and fears for a new future, which does not allow an individual to comfortably stay in the present moment.

A person with low self-esteem has the confidence that he is constantly wrong and will definitely lose, so he gives up easily and makes concessions while never protecting himself. The conviction of a person who is prone to underestimation of self-esteem, of inferiority, that his destiny is in the hands of others, who treat him the same way as he does to himself, compels the individual not to ask, but to beg others for some help. Setting only insignificant goals in front of you allows you to protect yourself in the future from an acute experience of failure, disappointment, because man is one hundred percent convinced that failure will happen.

A person with low self-esteem always compares himself with others and is always not in his own favor. An individual who is inclined to inadequately assess his own personality forbids to enjoy himself, as he is sure that no happiness is worthy. Also, signs of low self-esteem can manifest themselves in the interpersonal relations of the subjects and in any communication interaction with the environment.

Low self-esteem - what to do

Problems of low self-esteem are a serious obstacle to development, personal growth and success. It is dangerous, besides the fact that the individual will remain unfulfilled, even the fact that she is accompanied by mental suffering, experiencing feelings of fear and guilt, feelings of inferiority. An individual with low self-esteem gradually moves away from the world, which leads to feeling rejected and unnecessary.

Unconfident personalities are characterized by physical and emotional restraint, shyness. People unconsciously perceive other individuals according to their self-esteem. Therefore, if a person himself assesses himself low, then one should not expect a higher "score" from those around him.

A series of failures often leads to a situational low self-esteem. If self-esteem has decreased not due to the influence of certain circumstances, but is a stable attitude towards the individual, then it will not be easy to increase it, but it is possible. Well help personal trainings and positive psychotherapy.

What to do with low self-esteem? Situational low self-esteem rises quite easily - it is enough just to distract the individual from the negative circumstances experienced, to engage in a new undertaking or other situation in which success is quite real. Also, with this type of low self-esteem, the support of friends and relatives will not be superfluous.

How to deal with low self-esteem, you ask. The main thing is your desire and perseverance. Try to do what you have long dreamed of, but disgust with yourself prevented you from doing so. For example, go on a trip, buy something that you have been dreaming about for a long time, treat yourself to your favorite food, change your image, visit a theater or a movie, meet up with friends. In general, you need to do what you put off to do, because of your dislike for yourself and because it was a pity to spend time and money on yourself.

Try to reconsider your attitude towards failures and failures. We need to learn how to treat them as experiences, the potential to learn something new, to know others better and our capabilities. This will surely bring positive results and increase your own personal self-esteem.

Low self-esteem - how to fight

A person can do everything, but often she has laziness, fear and low self-esteem on her way to achieving her goals.

Low self-esteem is still dangerous because it violates the quality of life of the individual. It can manifest itself in various spheres of the individual’s life activity. In addition, reduced self-esteem of the individual can also have an unpleasant effect on her immediate environment - friends, colleagues, relatives, etc. Therefore, this problem should be fought, but it should be done in such a way that it does not turn into a war with one’s own person. On the contrary, the individual must try to learn to love and accept himself.

How to deal with low self-esteem? For starters, stop constantly comparing yourself with your surroundings. Someone is a talented artist, and you are given masterly to prepare, which is absolutely beyond the power of another subject. Think about the fact that someone might just dream of the skills that you perform skillfully, but consider them unnecessary. We need to start doing something that is really interesting and does not suppress. Hobbies can tell a lot about the person, can help find associates and support the conversation. Try to understand that you are a human being, therefore, you can make mistakes that absolutely the entire population of the Earth makes. After all, a mistake is not a personal fault, but an experience and an opportunity to learn something new.

Try to objectively evaluate your own merits and imperfections. Take responsibility for your own life, mistakes and successes for yourself. If something went wrong, it can always be changed. Focus your attention on personal success, achievements, and not failures. Forget about the insults, do not draw attention to them.

With any interaction with the environment, you do not need to pinch and think about what impression you will make. It is better to focus on the interlocutor and the conversation with him. In this case, you will definitely make a favorable impression. After all, everyone loves to be carefully listened to.

Problems of low self-esteem today occur at every step, so do not immediately fall into a panic if you notice an inadequate assessment of your own personality and your own merits. It is better to take the will into a fist and engage in increasing faith in yourself and your potential.