Psychology and Psychiatry

Communication with children

Communication with children in adults, it is often reduced to a minimum, which completely excludes proper education. Why it happens? Urban bustle, a pile of cases, the work takes a lot of time and effort from their parents, so that children are left with very little attention. And the time that parents devote to children is often spent not on building trusting relationships, but on fulfilling an edifying function, including a certain set of morality, postulates, and dogmas. Parents give all these instructions to their children on the machine, mistakenly believing that in this way they are fulfilling their parental duty.

Often parents do not know how to talk with their children. If parents were brought up in severity, then they will assume that children should be visible, but not heard, while other parents simply avoid conflicts. Lack of communication with children in the family can make a destructive moment in the development of normal relations. Children may feel isolated, which will cause them to withdraw, become irritable, they will no longer cope with problems. It is important to understand that when you talk with children on various topics, you develop relationships between you, making them a little happier, as well as removing excessive tension.

The surest way to effective communication is to make sure that regardless of age and problem, a kid of any age will talk to you on any topic.

Child's communication with adults

If you want to grow a harmoniously-developed personality, then communication with the child must begin even during pregnancy. It is necessary to talk from the very beginning of pregnancy, however, communication should be more effective and systematic from the moment your baby starts to stir.

The child remarkably perceives the sounds and voices addressed to him, gets used to them and subsequently learns. Further, the mental development of the baby continues in communication with the mother after birth. If a child was deprived of communication from birth, he would not become a morally and culturally developed, civilized citizen. Children in the process of communication develop, acquire behavioral and mental qualities. A preschool kid cannot read the questions that interest him in the book, so he struggles to communicate with adults.

Communication of the child with adults should solve such a task: open the world for the baby and show all the best, as well as the negative that mankind has. Only an adult will open to the child all the variety of emotions, perceptions, and speech. An adult makes it easier for a child to understand social norms, with his behavior reinforces the appropriate behavior, and also helps the child to submit to social influences. Without attention, love, understanding of close adults, the baby will not become a full-fledged person. The baby should receive this attention in the family, since the family is the first with whom he begins his communication. It is in the family that all the foundations of communication are laid, which the child will develop in the future.

Communication with children of preschool age

An important and most powerful source of preschooler experiences is relationships with other children. When parents treat their child with love, tenderness, recognize its rights, the baby experiences emotional well-being: a sense of security and confidence. Emotional well-being affects the normal development of the child's personality, develops in him positive qualities, a friendly attitude towards other people.

Communicating with children of preschool age depends directly on the relationship demonstrated by adults. Through imitation in communication, the baby learns how to interact with people. In an effort to learn how to interact, to get the praise of the baby with fervor immersed in communication. At the same time, trying to assert their independence, the preschooler separates himself, demonstrating a personal desire, for example, to insist on his insistence: "I will do it!", "I said so!". The kid cannot skillfully manage his emotions, which push him to identify himself with others.

Communication with preschoolers is gradually acquiring an extra-operative nature. Significantly expands opportunities due to the speech development of communication with others.

There are two forms of communication between children and adults - extra-operative (cognitive and personal). By four years, an extra-operative-cognitive form is developing. This form is characterized by the need for adult respect and the existence of cognitive motives. By the end of the senior preschool age, a form of communication is extra-creative-personal, which determines the need for empathy, mutual understanding and personal motives of communication. Speech is the main means for extra-operative forms of communication. Extra-personal communication between a child and an adult is of great importance for personal development. In the process of this communication, the child consciously learns the rules and norms of behavior, which forms the moral consciousness. Through personal communication, the kids see themselves from outside, which allows self-awareness and self-control to develop.

Personal communication of preschoolers allows us to distinguish between the roles of adults - a doctor, educator, teacher, and in accordance with this build relationships.

The development of a child's communication with an adult in preschool age constantly needs a benevolent tone, a positive assessment of an adult. In the presence of an adult, correct behavior is the first stage of the child’s moral development. Gradually, the need to behave according to certain rules makes sense for the baby in the presence of an adult.

The development of a child's communication with an adult needs a trusting and benevolent tone. The meaning of what is happening is that the preschooler has a sense of responsibility for their behavior. Preschooler is experiencing an insatiable need for adult support and assessment of their activities.

Communication with children of preschool age includes the provision of emotional support. In turn, neglect, inattention, disrespectful attitude of an adult, can lead to a loss of confidence in children.

Effective communication with children is respect, trust, love, inflexibility in certain issues in maintaining parental authority.

Methods of communicating with children should not include formality, shouts, orders, insults, nervousness. Parents often make mistakes, preferring orders and commands, threats, warnings. For example, "get up immediately," "shut up now," "so that I would not see this," "stop crying," "don't stop - take a belt." The baby perceives a categorical form as a parent's unwillingness to penetrate into a child's problem, feels disrespect for himself.

Quite harsh and harsh words evoke a sense of abandonment and lack of rights in the soul of an unformed personality. In response, parents receive stubbornness, resistance, rudeness. All threats are meaningless if the child is acutely experiencing his own problem, driving him to an even greater dead end.

Frequent repetition of threats, orders is addictive, and the kids no longer respond to such education. What should parents do?

Children with communication difficulties require special attention. Such kids do not tolerate criticism, accusations. Hurtful phrases and attacks, such as "I did everything wrong again," "I was hoping for you in vain," "all because of you," cause a storm of emotions and indignation in the baby's soul. He will react with anger, assault (verbal), or despondency, disappointment, depression, completely disillusioned with adults and with himself. If an adult treats a child poorly, then a low self-esteem is formed. He begins to attribute himself to a limp or loser. Low self-esteem leads to new problems in the family.

Parents communication with children

The use of ridicule and nicknames against preschoolers is unacceptable. Such remarks as "well, you, crybaby," "you are just a cudgel," "you are not a man," just push the kid away and disbelieve. After such an attitude, the kids are offended and defended by such words: "what is it?", "Well, let the club", "well, I will be like that!"

Sympathy for a preschooler should not be in words but in deeds. No need to say such phrases "calm down, this is such nonsense," "grind - the flour will be," "do not pay attention."

Children with communication difficulties do not tolerate tedious notations such as "it's time to remember that you should wash your hands before eating", "always listen to your father", "you distract yourself - you make mistakes." After such notations, the child responds: "enough", "I know." As a result, he has a psychological deafness.

Love the baby as he is, always respect him, because he is just like you. Do not get annoyingly into his soul. Better listen carefully, try to understand what is in his heart. It's hard to keep from asking questions, but ask reasonably.

Do not laugh off the problems of the child. Avoid boring moralization: "you must do this," "you must respect the elders." Such sad phrases do not give anything new and their behavior does not change. The kid feels guilt, pressure of authority, boredom, and often all together. Moral principles, as well as moral behavior, give not the words, but the atmosphere in the house itself, as well as the behavior of adults.

Do not be straightforward in the advice: "I would give back", "go and apologize." Often, kids do not listen to such advice. When advising a child, you remind that it is small, inexperienced and the authoritarian position of an adult is just annoying.

Features of communication between parents and children include the manifestation of trust. Do not say: "this is all because of you," "fought again," "I can see through you." Frequent repetition of such phrases preschooler enraged.

Style of communication with children

Communication should unite the family, and many parents do not realize that they have chosen the wrong style of communication with their children. Not only the hostile attitude of the parents, but also their liberalism, can harm the baby.

There are the following styles of communication with children:

  • conniving or permissiveness (as a rule, with this style, the baby gets what he wants through tantrums and whims: “I want”, “give”). The child cannot be blamed for this, he does not know another style of communication. As a result, he is unable to grow up as a mature man, because he does not understand the word "must." In school and in the garden, such a child is stubborn, conflicted, and selfish;
  • alienation, when parents do not hear, do not see, or do not want to hear and see their children;
  • hyper-care, when parents unknowingly deprive a child of any independence (psychological, moral, physical, social), as well as development;
  • dictatorship - this style implies harshness, rudeness, ignoring, disrespecting any initiative of the child, as well as his desires; in dictatorship, parents resort to physical punishment;
  • respect - this style is manifested in love and respect for the child from an early age; parents encourage the individuality of the child, talk on topics of interest to him, direct their children, giving them freedom of choice.

Communication of the teacher with children

Professional activity of an educator is impossible without pedagogical communication. The communication of the caregiver with children is a system of interaction with the aim of providing an educational impact, as well as forming a child’s self-esteem and expedient relationships, creating a favorable microclimate for mental development. The teacher should strive to make pedagogical communication with children most effectively, which will contribute to the mental development of children. To achieve this, the teacher should know what his students are expecting from intercourse, and also take into account the changing need throughout childhood.

Communicating with a child educator prepares the emergence of newer, more complex activities. The content and form of pedagogical communication of an educator are determined by specific tasks being solved in the process of managing the activities of children.

The effectiveness of pedagogical communication largely depends on the ability of the caregiver to take into account the age and individual characteristics of children. The teacher chooses the form of exposure to communicate with children of different temperaments, as well as age. The tutor often expresses a special warmth to the smallest ones, and also uses gentle forms of address that the kids are used to hearing in the family. The teacher expresses interest and sensitivity in work towards older children. However, in this case, for the optimal nature of the relationship, it is necessary to have the ability and joke, and if necessary, speak strictly and seriously.

The content of communication of an educator varies in accordance with the behavior of children, and their inclinations, interests, gender, and features of the family microenvironment are also taken into account. The teacher in the process of interaction with the kids uses both indirect and direct effects.

The direct effects are those that are directly addressed to the pupil, as well as relate to his behavior or relationships (display, explanation, indication, reprimand, approval). Indirect effects include exposure through other persons. Effective in working with children indirect effects are the effects of gaming communication.

Communication of children with peers

The preschool world of a child is not limited to the family. Children become very significant people for a child. As they grow up, the preschooler will appear important contacts, as well as conflicts with peers. There is no such kindergarten group, no matter where the complex scenario of interpersonal relationships unfolds. Preschoolers help each other, quarrel, take offense, reconcile, jealous, make friends, do dirty tricks.

Relationships are acutely experienced by children and often filled with a variety of emotions. Educators and parents often do not suspect the range of feelings that children experience, and of course, they don’t attach special importance to children's offenses, friendships, quarrels. The experience of the first relationship is the foundation on which the further development of the personality will be based. The first experience determines the attitude towards others, and it is not always positive. For most babies, negative attitudes are attached to those around them, which has long-term sad consequences. The task of adults is to detect problems in interpersonal relationships in time and help them overcome their child. Adult help is based on understanding the reasons that underlie children's interpersonal relationships. Internal causes provoke a steady conflict of children with peers, make you feel lonely. Such a feeling belongs to the most difficult, destructive experience.

An internal conflict revealed in a timely manner requires not only attention from adults, but also observation, knowledge of psychological characteristics, as well as patterns in the development of communication.