At the present time, the problem is acute because of the mass appearance of infantile men in society. With most women, an infantile man is perceived extremely negatively, causing irritation and general hostility. Such men grow up in those families where parents with boys “lisped strongly” and made serious mistakes in bringing up. The main signs inherent in infantile men are laziness, narcissism, avoiding problems, touchiness, selfishness, attachment to parents, heightened forgetfulness, lack of desire to take responsibility and make decisions. For many women it becomes a problem to build relationships with such a representative of the stronger sex.
Who needs an infantile man
Every woman deserves happiness and dreams of seeing with her a strong man who will be the leader and head of the family. Women want a man to determine in which direction to move the family, bear responsibility for it, make the life of the companion more beautiful and happier. The female elect must take place in the chosen profession, and for this it is important that the career and the desire to achieve success were more than he has today. But these are all women's dreams and not enough for all leaders, therefore, in life you can often meet an immature man.
The relationship between a man and a woman begins with a sudden feeling that they think will always be. But as time passes, the beloved person, who at first appeared so ideal, begins to open up in a new way. Why it happens?
When the first stage of falling in love or a candy-bouquet period ends and the feeling of reality returns, a woman can objectively evaluate her partner, his personal qualities, and after a while she discovers the signs of an infantile man from her chosen one. The fair lady immediately has questions about whether to continue the relationship, whether she needs this immature person, and how to fix it. We will try to find answers to all these questions and help women to make a decision.
Today, an infantile man is quite easy to meet. This mentally immature personality, which is characterized by behavior that does not meet age requirements. After a long conversation with an immature person, one can find a lag in the development of the emotional-volitional sphere, problems with the adoption of independent decisions and the preservation of children's personality traits. The judgments of infantile men are immature and superficial, they are capricious and completely helpless. The naivete of an infantile man in everyday life is simply amazing, it is difficult for him to make a decision, to take responsibility, he has to be forced and reminded all the time to do something. To fix such a man would be extremely difficult.
For a female leader, an infantile man is a convenient option for a joint alliance. At the expense of such a person, she realizes herself.
Often women consult psychologists at consultations with psychologists that their husbands are inert, inert, do not want to undertake any business skills, wait for their wives to organize everything, solve problem situations for them, give necessary instructions, take an active part in their employment and so on. In general, such a husband is an ordinary henpecked, for whom everything in life has to drag his wife.
But after long psychological conversations, these women begin to realize that they too would not have been able to live with a man, since the leaders themselves were accustomed to leading their husbands. Although the habit of moaning everybody that men meet lazy and they have to take everything under control, they are systematically present. It is difficult for these women to understand that initially they themselves choose infantile men so that they can guide them in the process of life as they need. Men in their turn, too, are trying to find themselves such "moms-leaders", similar to the image of their mothers, who lead them and direct them through life.
How to recognize signs of an infantile man
What is the reason that there are so many infantile men? The answer is simple. Personal qualities of the character of the baby are formed up to 6 years. During this period, prerequisites are laid for how he will become: a leader or an infantile henpecked. The personal example of parents is deposited in the child’s subconscious for life, and if the child sees how his father obeys the will of the mother and it is she who makes responsible decisions for him, then the fate of the baby is predetermined, he will grow up an infantile personality. This type of men is not easy to cope with himself, and not to cope with his leading wife. So, the personal example of parents creates the prerequisites for the development of an infantile personality. And practically no one can help such a man. It will be very difficult for him to overcome life problems. Often, infantile men are unclaimed and unhappy, eke out a miserable life.
Infantile men have always existed, but in our time they began to appear much more. Immense custody of moms, the benefits of civilization, caring wives actively contribute to this.
The infantile husband is indifferent to the feelings of others, focuses only on himself, his needs, and waits for his whims to be fulfilled. He is always sure that he is right, no matter what. He prefers to watch TV, lie on the sofa, play computer games, family problems are not attractive to him. The whole life pulls on itself the wife, the spouse needs to be forced to do something for a long time. He does not like to help around the house and to serve himself, at home and at work, is inactive. He prefers to shift the responsibility to another, accepts the position of the weak, in need of protection. When difficulties arise, he becomes depressed, experiences stress, favorite words: I don't want, I won't, I can't. Does not like to strain. He lives without plans for the future, "drifting", is impulsive, goes about his desires, can lower his salary, not knowing how to live to the next.
The infantile man is not inclined to self-development and self-reflection. She likes to have fun, not looking back on past years. When everything around them grows up, it remains the same - aimless and behaves like an immature person.
According to statistics, up to 50% of women take the initiative to take care of an infantile man. Up to 12% of naive women want to correct infantile men.
We will not give specific advice on how to correct an infantile man, because the representatives of the stronger sex should first of all want to change themselves. People tend to discuss the consequences, often giving ridiculous advice on how to find out the causes of this problem. And if you understand the cause of the problem, it is much easier to deal with the methods of its resolution. The main thing to remember is that the secret of a marital union is to accept each other by those who they are at the moment, and not to torment each other if something does not suit the relationship.
Let us dwell only on superficial recommendations on how to correct an infantile man. No need to play with her husband the role of his mom. Immeasurable care only makes things worse. If a woman has a strong maternal instinct and no children, it is better to have a pet. It is important to remember that before meeting a woman, a man somehow existed and did not die of hunger, put on his own clothes, woke up to work and did all this himself. Therefore, to show restraint and do not rush to make a sandwich, brew tea, collect scattered things, will be the right tactic in the re-education of his chosen one. Let him do everything himself.
It is required not to make the first important decisions concerning living together, but to provide such an opportunity first to a partner. Gently and patiently, you should remind the chosen one that the decision of an open question remains. No need to wait for a change in the personal development of a man to occur in a jiffy. Often, everything remains as it is, and if wives get tired of infantile husbands, they start to drink, walk, burn life, in the worst case leave them to other “moms” and only in the most loving and patient couples do changes in family life occur over time. side improvement.
Summing up, I would like to note that an immature husband, devoid of aspirations and ambitions, suffering himself, also causes others to experience considerable inconvenience. To overcome helplessness in real life, he has a lot of work to do on himself, and is it worth it to continue the relationship with such a man and pull all life problems on him; every woman should be solved independently.